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Design Your Life

The most important thing you’ll choose is how to live your life.

Design Your Life

Learning to Live in the Moment

01/24/2011
This cherry frosting is the best~ Oh hai. Here's looking at you, kitten.

I like to pinpoint areas in my life I’d like to change and then work on them..
If you can retrain your brain you can begin to let go of those issues.
I feel that I have never been able to live in the moment.
I’m always thinking about the past or waiting for the future.. never living in the here and now.
My new goal is to change this.
Want to come along for the ride?

In order to live a happier and healthier life, we need to slow down and learn to live in the moment.

We’re often so worried about our health, what we’re eating, doing, wearing, seeing that we sometimes forget how to enjoy living right now. Today. I seem to always be focused on my schedule and what I need to do next that I don’t enjoy the moment. This is one of the reasons I have started therapy, I want to live in the moment. I don’t want to be concerned with the past.

Just because we’re learning to live in the moment does not mean that we ignore tomorrow. Still concern yourself with tomorrow but involve yourself more in today. Tomorrow will come. Yesterday has gone. There is nothing you can change about the past, let go of your sadness or regret.

Living in the moment is easy when you’re having an exciting time.
Think back to vivid memories you have about fun times in the past.
You had no problem living in the moment then, why can’t everyday be that sunny vacation?
Why can’t every cup of coffee fill your mouth with a warming aroma of energy that warms you to the bone?
For some periods of time you are living in the moment.
Now how can we do this all the time?

One mistake that I and many others make is focusing too much on the future.
Weighing your happiness over something taking place, a raise, a lover or a bigger apartment.
Every time we achieve the “if only” we find we need something else to maintain this false facade of happiness.

Living in the moment means seeing the blessings you have today.
This is another one of those “take gratitude” tips from me.
Realize what you DO have and be thankful.
Try to quit focusing on what you DON’T have.
Allow yourself to leave your worrying behind to become a thing of the past.

Just as you guessed there are skills you can use to help yourself live in the moment, here are a few of them:

1.

Make a list of everything you have that makes you happy. Don’t try to be picky, just be thankful. These things, people, places may not be perfect but they are a part of your life. Make sure all of the people in your love understand how much they mean to you.

2.

Take time out of the day to do something special for yourself. Try having a square of chocolate in a bubble bath surrounded by calming lavender candles! Why not? No chocolate? Savor some tea.

3.

Do something special for someone you love.
Don’t expect anything in return, including a thank you.
Just watch their expression and see their enjoyment and know that it is because of you.

4.

Learn to laugh at everything.
Find humor everywhere and don’t take yourself so seriously.

5.

Keep a gratitude journal of everything you are thankful for. Try 5 things a day for a few weeks. Soon you will take notice of all of these wonderful things naturally.

Remember that for many of us, living in the moment is tough, it’s is a skill to be learned.
Start small and take each day as it comes.
Stop trying to change the past or live for the future and live in the right now.
I’m going to make a drastic change in my daily life to ensure that I experience each moment to it’s fullest and I know you can too.
This is your life, these are your years, let’s enjoy them.

Design Your Life

Will 2011 Be Better Than 2010?

01/21/2011

2011: can we predict that it will be better than 2010?

“Maybe…”

It has to be said that I am not a trained healer by any means. I am simply someone who aims to interpret her own signs, and I struggle even with that. All my life, I have always been fascinated with the assignment of meaning, the mechanism in our brains that causes us to give value and significance to one particular thing while we reject or dismiss another for completely arbitrary reasons. What is it that causes us to form the prejudices to say that one thing means something or has a certain value, and that another does not? We even vary from context to context, often believing that something means something at a certain time, but not at another time. I find this both interesting and confusing.

Take, for example, two incidents that happened to me recently. On three separate occasions this week, I saw the exact same armored truck at a market I frequent. The chances of that, while not astronomical, are pretty slim, and I made note of how unusual it was. Later in the week, I was sitting in my car while I was out running errands and a rat ran in front of my car. There are who-know-how-many thousands of rats running around in a typical city, and seeing one on the street is hardly a rare occurrence.

So which one do you think I interpreted as a sign? Believe it or not, it was the rat.

I can’t really explain the logic behind my choice, either, as it wasn’t really a choice but more of a feeling. And I started to wonder how I would “know” that something commonplace was a sign when something unusual wouldn’t be. I tried analyzing the potential meanings behind either of these sightings to see if anything would present itself. The armored truck, for example, could have meant good fortune, or security, or money coming into my life. Those all sound like great things, why wouldn’t I be inclined to see that as a sign? Rats, on the other hand, are harbingers of danger – they are the first to sense when all is not right, and they turn tail and run in an effort to save themselves. Sure, these are all vague interpretations, but I was still no closer to determining why I would accept the rat so readily as a sign, when I had dismissed the truck just as readily.

It didn’t make any sense to me, and I was about to drive myself crazy thinking about it, when suddenly one of my most beloved Zen tales wandered back into my head from where it was buried in my memory. This story is a perfect example of how perfection, irony, paradox, and beauty can coexist without problems, as in my experience with the rat and the truck.

An old farmer was working on his crops one day when his horse got loose and ran away. His neighbors came around that evening to sympathize, telling him that he’d simply been a victim of bad luck.

The farmer replied, “maybe.”

The following day, the farmer was working when his horse returned. The horse had met three other wild horses and had brought them back to the farm. The neighbors rejoiced and congratulated the farmer. “Such good luck!” the said.

The farmer replied, “maybe.”

The following day, the farmer sent one of his sons out to ride the wild horses to try to tame them. The son did his best, but fell off one of the horses and broke his foot. Again the neighbors came around to console the farmer about his bad luck, telling him that he was simply misfortunate.

The farmer replied, “maybe.”

The following day, a group of military draft officers came around to take the young men of the village away for combat duty. The farmer’s son, however, couldn’t go because of his broken foot. The neighbors laughed with delight and told the farmer just how lucky he really was.

The farmer replied, “maybe.”

And this is what offers us equilibrium in the midst of the paradoxical path we walk – no matter how much we wander from one side to the other, it’s a daily practice of self-inquiry that keeps us centered. Remember, Great Relationships Begin Within!
?Take your soul for a stroll and join us at www.maryannelive.com as we bring in the New Year!

Design Your Life

Finding Energy in the Dead of Winter

01/20/2011
Wanwan loves her satin pillow~

Why is it so tough? Why do I feel the need to gulp down glass after glass of coffee all day and night long just to stay awake? Is it me? My medication? The season? The amount of close family and friends experiencing the same this time of the year leads me to believe it’s not just me. Everyone feels exhausted.

One way to instantly feel better is to do something. Anything. It will improve your mood and might just inspire you to continue or to try something else. This is one I hear again and again and it’s almost the hardest one to do… just get up and make myself work? When I feel like sleeping? When I feel like pulling the blinds and hiding in bed all day? Yes, even today.

A great way to naturally produce energy is by exercising. No matter how strange this sounds, exercise actually does give you more energy and produces endorphins. I feel like I preach this to myself all day.. exercise and eat well! I’m pretty bad at going for the sweets and caffeine without hesitation. This is why I feel so great one second and like absolute shit the next. These cause you to crash and then it’s even harder to stay awake and energized.

My heart sweets for you~

Take a nap. I know it sounds silly. Even a 30 minute power nap. Tell yourself you’re really exhausted now but when you wake up at (set your alarm now) __:__ you’ll be ready to work on whatever task you’d like to complete.

Don’t make your tasks sound large, break them down. Instead of ‘clean up kitchen’ how about ‘wash dishes’ and later ‘sweep kitchen floor’ and finally ‘clean counters’ ? It makes it a lot easier to get things done when you make them sound manageable. At your MOST LIFELESS you’ll still feel like you can accomplish wiping the counters.

Take in the small things. Light a candle and relax while you breathe the warmly scented aroma it creates. (try mint or eucalyptus scents for energy!) Slowly enjoy and experience a cold, refreshing iced drink. Put an energizing scented lotion on and take in the whole experience as you smooth it into your hands and smell the fresh mint.

One of my absolute favorite ways to find energy is to drink coffee and tea. However be careful because as I said before, caffeine causes a later crash. Have a cup of Earl Grey when you feel like going to bed. Enjoy the tea as you drink it and take in the aroma. You should feel more energized after you’ve had your tea. I know everyone knows this but I feel like we often forget or don’t take time to experience an afternoon tea.

Do you have some more ways to stay energized in the dead winter that don’t involve cold showers? 😉

Design Your Life

Late Night Musings: Who Are You Changing For?

01/07/2011

People don’t tend to realize this, but loneliness…It’s underrated. Severely so. We, as people, don’t like to be alone. Just the term itself can make some of us feel instantly depressed, just a little at the least.
But, the way I see it…The only reason anyone would dislike being alone is because they don’t like who they’re alone with.
Because then, there’s nothing to distract you from your own thoughts.
Your own fears.
Your own guilt.
Your secrets.
Your uncertainty.
And all the things that keep you up at night.
We truly are our own worst enemies.

Lately- and I suppose I use the term loosely- it’s felt like the whole world was falling apart, that hardly anything adds up to something steady and I… Well I’ve never really had a clue what to do. So I overcompensate with silly things. Acting obnoxious at any given social gathering, making bad jokes, diving into work projects (such as theater) -some of which I hadn’t shown any interest in before (such as mock trial)- and most of these remunerations involve being around other people.

Concisely, I really like myself alone. I wouldn’t say it’s exactly a trait i have that is reverse of most people, because I still have to sit and solve all the same troubles I mentioned above, but not feeling the need to make restitution outweighs said anxieties by far.

I’ve noticed that all of my written works reflect an entirely different person then the ashli jade that most people are accustomed to and I guess that’s the most concrete proof of this concept.

Maybe that’s the case with a lot of people.

The question is: Why are we afraid to be our ‘alone’ self in a social gathering? What are we hiding behind, and more importantly… why?

Design Your Life

The Only Reason to get Married is…

12/28/2010

‘Tis the season to… get hitched? Well, maybe weddings themselves are more popular in June, but according to a survey sponsored by the Fairchild Bridal Group (the people who publish Modern Bride) marriage proposals in November and December represent more than a quarter of all proposals for the entire year. And this is the reason most people get married – not because they’ve thought about why they want to get married, but simply because someone asked them! This brings me to the subject of this week’s blog: a young man I met recently named Antonio. He’s 24, and he used to play soccer in his native Spain but had to give it up after a foot injury ended his career. He made the best of his situation and turned to music and songwriting as a new career path. I encountered him because he provides music equipment for bands, and also karaoke machines for people like me who like to have noisy Xmas parties. As we chatted, he mentioned that he loves his job, he loves his band, and he has an ex-girlfriend he’s thinking about marrying. As you can imagine, I made a face at that, and asked him for clarification.

I mean, why would he want to marry someone who is his EX-girlfriend? Presumably the EX part is for a reason! He suddenly got very quiet and shrugged and said, “I guess I just… I don’t know… you know, she really wants to get married.” What? No no no. NO! I cannot have any response to that other than NO.

I asked Antonio if he would be interested in the kind of advice that would change his life and his way of thinking. I explained a little about who I am and what I do, and before he could really respond either way, I jumped right in to tell him my thoughts on the matter. After all, when again would I get an opportunity to mold his young spirit and get him onto the right path? I knew this was a critical moment and I would only have one chance to get it right.

“Here’s the thing, Antonio,” I said. “The only reason you should ever even CONSIDER, even for a brief moment, the sacrament of marriage, is because when you wake up in the morning, this beautiful, amazing person is the first thought in your head, and that thought makes you glow from the inside all day long, and you cannot stop thinking about how lucky you are that you get to spend your free time with this person, and that you get to be the recipient of their love and respect, and vice-versa. There should be no doubt in your mind that this is how you feel, before you even let the word ‘marriage’ come anywhere near the conversation.”

He stared at me as if he’d just been smacked in the face with a book and was wondering which direction it came from, and thought I knew I came on strong, I did it intentionally, hoping to get through to his young brain. He could have responded in a dismissive or irritated way, but he didn’t – he simply stared at me for a few seconds, and then slowly said, “thanks for that.” Did I get through to him? Well, of course I have no way of knowing for sure, but lets just say that this very professional and very competent young man left without collecting the very item he came to pick up.

And that made my day! It always thrills me when I can get through to people by using my larger-than-life passion for helping people find real love!

Design Your Life

You Can’t Make Everyone Happy

11/25/2010

So don’t even try.
Trying to will only affect you in a negative way.

You Spin Me

This is for all of you out there that get hung up on anxiety like I sometimes do. You just have to take a breath and move on, you have to keep doing what you know you should be doing.

No matter what you do and how amazing it may be, not everyone will like it. There will always be someone who doesn’t like what you do. You can’t make everyone happy. No matter how sweet, out-going and approachable you are, some people are not going to get along with you.

So forget about them. Don’t sweat it. If you try to make everyone happy you’re going to find out down the road eventually that you cannot and that you could instead of been making yourself and those who mean a lot to you happy.

So if you are doing something you love, keep doing it. Passion pays off. If I would have stopped what I was doing at the first NO I got I wouldn’t be living the life I love now. I wouldn’t be doing the things I love to do on and offline, living where I want to live, with whom I want to live with.

“You have to forget about what other people say, when you’re supposed to die, or when you’re supposed to be loving. You have to forget about all these things. You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven.”
~ Jimi Hendrix

Design Your Life

Learn to See People for Who They Really Are

11/17/2010
on melrose

I’d like to travel, for a moment, back to the time when I was five years old. I remember my mother shushing me for trying to talk to a stranger. I didn’t understand what the big deal was. She said that “we don’t talk to strangers,” and that “it’s rude to ask people personal questions!” This made no sense to me at all – if you never talk to strangers, how are you supposed to make any friends or get to know anyone? Obviously I wanted to avoid a spanking, so I did as I was told, but even the threat of corporal punishment couldn’t quell that insatiable desire inside me to talk to people and get to know them. Now, of course, it’s part of my work as a relationship expert, but what I’d like to do today is pass on to you the skill of really getting to know people, including yourself.

Going back to my childhood for a moment, I used to make mud pies quite frequently. I’d put them on my neighbors’ doorsteps and wait to see how they reacted. In my head, this was a way of testing the waters to see who was friendly and who wasn’t. If someone accepted the pie and the humor that came along with it, then for me they were safe, friendly, and open. If they didn’t see the humor, then I would use that as a sign to steer clear. I didn’t cry about it or beg them to like the pie or call them or stalk them or promise to change the pie into something they’d like better… I just moved on to another doorstep and tried not to take it personally. My pies weren’t to everyone’s taste, and that was fine. No big deal.

So I’m asking you now to make the leap forward with me and apply this to your own life. How many of us currently play a much more neurotic version of the mud pie game, giving too many pies to people who don’t want them, and causing unnecessary suffering by not listening to our intuition when it tells us the response to the pie isn’t a positive one?

Learning to see people for who they really are – and who they aren’t – is not just a matter of learning a few clever tricks that will give you insight into the opposite sex, and that’s not what I’m trying to do here. Instead, I want to give you the power tool of all power tools for your relationship tool belt – the knowledge of how to inner-view for success!

The difficult part about “learning to see people for who they really are” isn’t the people out there – it’s learning who YOU really are and what you really want. If you look at great relationships and think that could never happen to you, I want you to know that you are wrong! Great relationships ARE possible for you! You just have to put in some initial legwork getting to know yourself, and setting up a plan that will not only help you succeed in finding someone compatible for you, but that will also greatly increase your chances at having a great relationship.

Remember that getting older does not necessarily mean getting wiser. Many of us make the same mistakes over and over again. But the basics of a great relationship are easy to learn, no matter how many times you’ve gotten it wrong. When we want to explore a spark we feel for someone, we offer up the adult version of a mud pie: a friendly introduction, a smile, or a flirty glance. Then it’s the intuition’s turn to measure the response we get from that, and decide either to back away, or take another step forward into a conversation. After that next step, then the intuition does its magic again, and again it’s up to us to read the signs and choose which way to go. My goal for you is this: once you have a comfortable knowledge of who you are and what you want, then you can learn to take your passion for connecting with someone, and use it wisely, to make sure your time and energy are spent on the positive road to your next great relationship!

Design Your Life

Dear Motivation, Stop Hiding From Me

11/08/2010
rainbow bunny

So this new place is just perfect for writing and when I get my studio set back up I’ll be in business again.. but until then I cannot get myself motivated.

Motivation. A scary thing. Where do you find it when you have none?

It’s not hiding under your bed with green tentacles just waiting to grab you when you least expect it.

If you’re anything like me you assume that when you get things as they should be it will hit you in the face. You’ll be kicking your feet up to watch the water and all of a sudden you’ve gotten a stroke of creativity like no other!

It does happen. As creative people we come to adore when it happens. If we’re prepared we even take advantage of it.

… but what do we do when we have no motivation? No stroke of creativity?

We’ve discussed ways to get creative when creativity feels impossible.. but we haven’t discussed motivation as well as I would have liked to.

I struggle with motivation so I assume maybe others do too. The wonderful thing about the internet is that we can connect with others all over the world that are experiencing similar difficulties that we are. No one is expected to go through anything alone. We are very social creatures and we crave a connection with others (so that our bodies may produce dopamine and make us naturally happy).

I have depression, as I’ve said before, and one of the most destructive aspects of depression is the way it paralyzes your willpower. (David D. Burns)

There are many reasons why this is so but only you can really understand. Think about your undone task and write down words that come to mind. Write a journal or blog entry about it. See what the underlying reasons are that you’re putting off getting things done. Reasons can range from overwhelming yourself, undervaluing rewards and even fear of success! Or how about perfectionism? That is one myself and many of my friends struggle with most.

Try to pinpoint your discomfort so that you can work to resolve it. Be strong and carry out your goals. No one else will do them justice.

One of my guilty pleasures is a book called Feeling Good by David D. Burns, M.D. This is a valuable tool in learning to improve your emotional health. I like to read it when I get really frustrated and forget how to use the tools to remain focused. It helps my mind unstick sometimes when a worry wont stop. I highly recommend it!

However, as we said before, depression is actually a chemical imbalance in your brain so if you lack motivation because of depression you should first get help! Even if you’re too scared to talk to your family about going to a psychologist for some strange reason (my parents had a stigma about it) you can always tell your family doctor first. They can then refer you to a psychologist and many times they’ll start you on a small dose of an anti-depressant to see how you do. Sometimes these pills give you an absolute moment of clarity in which you understand every particle of your disorder and how to live without it.

The trick is to train your brain to be positive. To be able to change your life and the way you feel everyday.

So get motivated (no matter who you are) and do something new.

packaging :)
Design Your Life

Getting Magnified With Nubby Twiglet

10/29/2010

Visualize what you want out of life, big or small and work hard. Stay focused. It’s never supposed to be easy.

what i wore nubby twiglet fashion style outfit

Q.

Nubby! There are all kinds of creative people around the globe, but many of them find real difficulty in pinning down exactly what it is they would like to make a living doing. How did you take the plunge and commit to graphic design, and what advice would you give to people still ‘working it out’?

A.

It’s completely normal to experiment before committing to a career. I would start by asking yourself what you’re truly passionate about. What do you enjoy doing most in your free time? What’s the one thing that you’re willing to stay up late and do, no matter how tired you get?

In school, my two strongest subjects were always Art and English. I loved ripping up fashion magazines and making collages, playing with sheets of rub-on letters and flipping through old advertising and poster books. I knew that fine art is really subjective and that it wasn’t going to be an easy way to make a living right away. Graphic design combined my love of art and type with one of my other passions; advertising. The thing is, once your passion becomes a job, it’s not all about fun and leisure anymore. There’s a level of professionalism that goes into it and at the end of the day, there are certain things you have to do to ensure that you get paid. Even when you’re working for yourself, the money has to come from somewhere.

If you’re unsure of what you want to do, reach out to teachers, mentors and career counsellors. Take some classes for fun. The more things you try, the easier it is to realize what you DON’T want to do. When I was in college years ago, I did filing in offices, stuffed invoices into envelopes and worked retail. All of these jobs built character and made me appreciate the career that I have now.

Q.

You seem to have been incredibly practical in the pursuit of what many would consider an impractical or ‘risky’ career choice, is that how you see it? Did you face any naysayers along the way and, if so, how did you deal with that?

A.

I always felt that any career in art or design was really risky and that’s probably because my parents always worked traditional office jobs, doing sales. That’s one of the main reasons I went to school first for business. My mom encouraged me because she knew I had the potential and in a way, I think she wanted me to have something to ‘fall back on.’ After I completed that degree though, I just didn’t feel fulfilled. I had already started to do freelance design work but felt like I wasn’t as proficient or knowledgeable as I wanted to be. I had a lot of people around me who just didn’t get it…I was supposedly done with school and trying to go back for something completely different.

At 25, I didn’t want to waste another four years in school and this is why I chose to do a two year, limited entry graphic design program. I’d always dreamed of working at an ad agency and what I soon realized is that the combination of marketing and design backgrounds meshed perfectly for my career path. Listen to your instincts – there are always going to be naysayers. But, it’s your life. You know best.

magazine typofiles typography

Q.

Your work seems like so much more than a 9-5 for you, it is clear from your blog how intertwined your job, lifestyle, fashion sense and even home decor are! How important do you think it is to blur the lines between work, life and play in terms of career fulfillment?

A.

A career in design doesn’t necessarily have a starting and stopping point. Inspiration will hit you at completely random times and I think that as a designer, it’s a natural progression for your interests at that moment to seep into your outfit choices, home decor, blogging topics, etc. I’ve always strived to have a seamless line between my work, life, and blog. It’s definitely tricky because I am the face of my brand and my personality is interconnected heavily with my work.

I don’t think it’s necessary to blur the lines between your work, life and play – if anything, it’s probably a relief for most people to break away at the end of the day. I’ve done things differently because it makes sense in my life, but I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone. It has to feel like a natural progression.

week in pictures

Q.

You’ve mentioned both your brand and your personality and how key they are in your career, how important do you think a ‘personal brand’ is for a career in the creative industries? What advice would you give to someone looking to brand themselves within their market – where should they start?

A.

Most of the time, a person’s work speaks for itself but in a flooded market, often what makes someone stand apart is their personality and ability to potentially relate to their customers. There are so many designers out there – the personal connection you make with your customers is going to be the defining factor that keeps them coming back. I’ve always said that it doesn’t matter how good you are if nobody knows how to find you. Branding yourself in a recognizable, uncluttered manner will help you get remembered. Start by building an online presence through various social media platforms and showcase your work on your own domain, whether that’s a website or a blog. Reach out to people you admire – often, they’ll help you along and even show you the ropes, no questions asked. A simple logo that will mature with your work is also helpful. And, always have business cards handy! Some people think they’re extinct, but I promise you, there will be times where they pay off. You never know who you’re going to meet!

Q.

It looks like you’ve learnt a great deal about yourself and your field through your career so far, what one piece of advice would you liked to have given yourself, say, 5 years ago? And, conversely, where do you see yourself 5 years from now?

A.

I would have told myself that it was possible to work at an ad agency and that it wasn’t a pipe dream to run my own business full time. And, I definitely would have gotten started on my personal blog much sooner. It’s so easy now to look back and see things differently, but the reality is, life happens and we tend to just do the best we can at any particular time without knowing if the outcome is going to be what we hoped for.

And, five years from now… wow, that is a long time away! Five years ago, I hadn’t gone to school for design yet. I was finishing my business degree and had just returned home from a two month stay in New York. I hadn’t done my first solo art show yet. I was working at a shoe store and living with four boy roommates. My life was completely different! So, five years from now, I’m not exactly sure what I will be doing. I hope to be working at a fashion magazine (Elle!) in New York, working as an art director at an agency or running an agency with my brother. Though, he loves working at Nike, so he might be too cool to spend his days with me! I also want to write a how-to guide about marketing for designers and do workshops on what it takes to be a freelancer and how to build a portfolio. Oh, and I want to travel a lot. I guess I have a vague idea then…but life is meant to be lived. Setting anything in stone feels too rigid – I am just soaking up new experiences, trying to stay in the present and enjoying my life right now.

what i wore nubby twiglet pantone notebook design

Q.

You seem to have done things totally your own way, do you consider yourself Miseducated? If so, what makes you Miseducated and what final advice would you give to readers embarking on their own Miseducated careers?

A.

Since Miseducated is about embracing a unique, unconventional existence, I would say yes! Though I tend to make plans, set goals and keep a schedule, beyond that, I try to live the best life possible and to do things my way. You’re only going to live once so it’s important to stay true to your values and ethics – at the end of the day, you have to answer to YOU. That’s it. Do what makes you happy. When I was younger, I tried to fit into ideals, to do what I thought would make me happy by society’s standards. I quickly realized that wearing corporate casual attire, working at a mainstream office and living in the suburbs was not for me. I went to school for business because it seemed more practical. But, I wasn’t fulfilled so I went back for a design degree. Visualize what you want out of life, big or small and work hard. Stay focused. It’s never supposed to be easy. The things that you do that feel impossible and test your will do add character. If people tell you that something can’t be done, work even harder to prove them wrong. It’s up to you to create the life that you want.

Design Your Life

Hello Sunshine: 5 Simple Rules for Living Happy

10/11/2010
donut

Are you feeling drop-dead exhausted? Easily annoyed? Are you eating like crazy? Sounds a lot like a certain-time-of-the-month, but if this sort of thing is more common then your monthly friend, you could be battling the blues.

The ugly truth is that the United States has become a drug-dependent nation. Pharmaceutical companies and hospitals work together to convince you that you need drugs to balance you out, rather then actually pin-pointing the problem and helping you. Research from just last year shows that approximately 18.8% people have “mental disorders” such as depression, and the percentage keeps climbing up. And “victims’ on anti-depressant often continue having to fight being depressed.

Because a chemical isn’t going to make you any happier then material things. Just like you would own a lot of stuff and still feel nothing inside, you would have chemicals pumping through veins and only have a false sense of true happiness. Life is too short to live under an illusion of any kind.

1. Free your heart from hatred

I strongly believe that no one, absolutely no one, has any excuse to hate anyone, and keep hatred in their heart.

In college, a woman by the name of Jennifer Thompson had been raped at knifepoint by a man who had broken into her off-campus apartment as she slept. Unable to escape, she made it a point to remember what he looked like, so she could give the police a description and this man could harm no one ever again. Later in the investigation in a photography line-up, she identified a man who worked nearby as her attacker. And chose him again in a suspect line-up.

Throughout the trial, and even during his time in prison, Ronald insisted that he was innocent and that Jennifer was mistaken. After eleven years- as DNA tests were becoming more popular in investigations-Ronald was allowed to take a DNA test and prove his innocence and that the attacker was a man he had actually met while in prison, by the name of Bobby Brown ( who had even confessed to raping Jennifer while he was in prison). Two years later, Jennifer and Ronald met face to face. This man came face to face with the woman who had taken eleven years of his life, if anyone has any rational reason to hate someone, it was him. But he looked right her and told her ” I forgive you.”

This man , without a moment’s hesitation, told this woman that he forgave her when she asked to meet him face to face, when he had good reason not to, after being wrongly stripped away from his family and life…This is a story with a lesson we can all apply to our own lives.

It takes up so much of our energy to hate someone, and has hating someone ever, once, led to a solution to a problem? Has it made you feel any better?

2. Free your mind from worries

This is most common on Sundays, which is why they (whoever they are) so cleverly named it ‘ The Sunday Blues’. You know the feeling, when Sunday rolls around and you’re thinking about the week ahead of you. Work and school. Deadlines and tests. Meetings. Whatever your shpeel is. All that’s running through your head is a week’s worth of to-do lists. And guess what, it entirely ruins your Sunday? Even if you take a break from gearing up for the week that’s waiting, you’re mind is still occupied with worry.

But worries don’t have a calendar. This isn’t to indicate that you only feel worried on Sundays. I understand stressing for weeks over midterms. Debt. Relationships. Life in general. It’s absolutely draining, isn’t it? You might not be entirely happy with you situation and whole-heartedly crave a change of scenery. You might feel stuck in a rut. So for days when you’re feeling particularly anxious, I recommend the following:

lolly

Do something fun. Put on your favorite music and dance, indulge in something yummy and don’t think even once about the calories. Whatever tickles you pink, make it a point to do.

Remove ass from computer chair. I’m dead serious. Go for a walk around the office, or to the park. Take a bubble bath, cook something tasty, go window shopping. Something away from you computer, leave your cell phone at home, turn off the tv, and if you’re the kind of person that absolutely HAS to check their email or facebook every hour, you better leave that itouch with your cell phone. Take a break from anything with a screen, basically, and renew your spirit.

Live ideally. There’s a popular quote floating around the interwebs, that being happy all the time doesn’t make you human, it makes you a game show host. Ridiculously true, but if you find yourself consistently unhappy, you might actually need to pursue a change of scenery. This doesn’t mean flip your life upside down tomorrow (such a change can actually make you even more upset), but start planning and turn the leaf over gradually. Write down your goals and dreams and take it one step at a time to see them come true.

3. Live simply.

Clear your clutter and the complexity. Differentiate between your needs and you wants. Do you really need the ten million inch super HD tv that comes with built in blue ray and surround sound and even a built in espresso machine? Or do you just need something to keep you stimulated when you get home? It’s the difference between watching tv and reading book. Going on some extravagant outing with your friends or getting together for a nice chat? Building relationships with other people and making memories of those crazy nights. Which will leave you more satisfied at the end of the day?

There are plenty of natural ways and just simple things you can do to beat the blues without popping open a single lid of Prozac. It’s all about breaking the illusion and truly, honestly being happy.