I grew up in the 70’s/80’s watching everyone do cocaine. I thought it was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen. when I was 8, i lived with my aunt for awhile and her husband would snort big rails of what he called “sugar” and then he’d do nasty things to my cousins (ages 2 and 2 weeks) and break things– there was lots of screaming and crying and my aunt would always beg me to never do drugs EVER!!!!!!
In high school, I fell in love with a heroin addict who killed himself. My best friend was a crystal meth addict. The adverts were everywhere, too, “THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS!” with the egg frying in the pan. My boyfriend fell asleep at the wheel of his mom’s Porsche and crashed into one of those signs with me in the passenger seat. I swore it was a sign from god. I designed myself to stick to my chain smoking and alcohol (I’d been drinking heavily since age 9 and this addiction was BAD ENOUGH).
Then I started going to raves… I got curiouser and curiouser, like Alice in Wonderland. I gave in and tried acid for the first time at 22 years old. It was the most fun I’d EVER HAD!!!
Something else happened at 22. I found out I had an ovarian cyst the size of a PEACH PIT. The cause? Another drug! Ortho novum 777 – the birth control pill that I’d been on for the past 7 years. My body was never the same after.
I’ve never done an ‘illegal’ drug that did the damage that that ‘legal’ one did.
The cancer made me angry and careless. My experimentation became a reckless fascination. I set out to try every single drug in existence and did drugs constantly for the next 10 years.
In 2002 I swore off illegal drugs. My life without all the drug craziness seemed like a dark void. I filled that void with marijuana. I watched a LOT of t.v. and did NOTHING with my life. I stayed with a boyfriend that beat the shit out of me and didn’t care. I was too lazy to leave. Lovely drug but zzzzzzzzz …. watch the motivation kill.
When I finally got off my lazy ass and left the asshole boyfriend, I found myself sober again and severely depressed. The doctor put me on ‘celexa’. this made me go CRAZY. Crazier than I ever went years ago when I experimented with ecstasy, mushrooms, acid and crystal meth.
Needless to say, I have friends that have done meth and acid for years and have LOST THEIR MINDS. One of them saw me driving by once and thought a giant twinkie was driving my car. I didn’t go THIS crazy, thank god.
Several prescription drug combinations later (and MANY side effects along with them, including 20 pounds of weight gain), the depression was gone but the cancer came back, this time in my right fallopian tube.
Sober now for a year, marijuana entered my life again as the miracle drug that helped me get THROUGH that cancer. It was the only way I could SLEEP, EAT .. hell, get THROUGH the day. I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN. Legalize this drug NOW!!!!! 🙂
Confused?
Yeah, me too. If this made no sense, It’s because I’m trying to stop smoking pot again and I’m fiending a xanax like you wouldn’t believe. I had too much caffeine today and it’s making my words all jumble together. I could really go for a cigarette, even though I only smoke when I drink, but I can’t have a drink because it counteracts with my xanax. DRUGS ARE EVERYWHERE. ahhhh!!!!!
Am I pro drugs?
Hell yeah!!! Wouldn’t change a thing. My life was f*cked up before them and f*cked up after them, but I LOVE the rainbow trail that they created behind the rollercoaster of my crazy ass life while I was on them!!
