self-help – Page 5 – Miseducated

Build a Great Relationship: Start from Within

06/14/2010

Dating can be scary. If you’ve just come off a divorce or a serious breakup, you may be wondering if it’s all worth it, or if you’ll just end up in the same place again. If your’e a single parent, you may be hesitant to start bringing someone new into your family’s life. If you’re newly on the scene after not having dated for many years, the thought of online dating can seem intimidating. For whatever reason, if you’re not sure how to approach the whole dating game, try these tips.

Put your most important foot forward. If you start out with “sexy” then that’s what people will value most about you.

Dating is not a sales pitch. Who you are is a sacred gift, it’s not a product.

Know that the single people around you are not your rivals. Smile, we’re all in this together! There’s enough love to go around, you don’t have to fight other people for it.

When you feel that spark of chemistry, ask yourself some questions. Is this excitement, or fear (they feel similar, but not the same)? Do you find yourself questioning your values and action and feeling insecure, or does this person really bring out the wonderful things in you, leaving you feeling invigorated and glowing?

Gently press the brakes. It’s okay to slow down, and it can keep you from making a desperate move that could end in disaster. If this person is really the right one for you, then they’ll be patient and let things happen in due course. There are 1.45 million potential partners out there for you – you don’t have do drastic things with this one right this second in a desperate bid to hang onto them. Just take a step back and think things through before making any big decisions.

Learn about this person and what they have to offer. The last thing you need is to get into a situation where its give-give-give on your end and take-take-take on theirs. You want someone who balances you, where the give and take are equal.

Don’t try to find people who would be attracted to the person you think you should be – go for the ones who like you for who you actually are! I used to put so much effort into making myself less high-maintenance because I thought people wouldn’t be attracted to my big nature. Turns out, my husband loves my big nature exactly the way it is!

Resist the urge to drop your drawers until you’re sure this person shares your relationship goals, and that they feel the same way about you! The day after you have sex is not the time to find out they just want a casual fling, if you’re looking for marriage.

Prepare yourself for your new relationship with a daily clearing ritual. Let go of old items or photos that only bring back painful memories, or you can do what I did and have a wedding ceremony with yourself so that you make the most important commitment of all!

Stick to your guns when it comes to deal-breakers. Perhaps you won’t tolerate a drug-user. Or maybe you can’t stand to be with someone who’s into porn. We all have areas where we draw the line – make a list of yours so that you aren’t tempted to bend those lines. You can learn more about deal-breakers by getting a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.

Never compromise your safety or integrity – trust your true instincts, and don’t set yourself up to fail!

But if you want the best piece of advice ever… it might take you a long time to get in etched in your mind, and to put it into practice, but here it is: Great relationships begin within! ®

6 Comments

Design Your Life

Positive and Inspiring Blog Articles You Should Read

05/22/2010

These are some delicious articles to inspire you to live positively and enjoy what’s really important.

Often times I’m asked what’s really important to me in my life. I would have to say love and relationships, art and design. What about you?

Ten Things You Should Already Know By Now

“What’s important today won’t matter tomorrow.”

Things I Love Thursday

“Do you like New York?”
“Yes. It’s my favourite kind of planet.”

Get Confident

“When I meet someone with quiet, real confidence, I can feel it from about a block away. Their confidence does not intimidate, but inspires.“

Handbook for Life

Now, is there any handbook that can be a guide to every single person? Of course not. This is just a list of tips that I think will help many people in life — some of them common-sense tips that we often forget about. Consider this guide a reminder. (ZenHabits)

Inspiring Offices

Whether you work at home or in an office, you can surely take some of these delicious designs to your own personal space. My environment affects my mood quite a lot — making sure it’s comfortable and clean is always inspiring!

Get Motivated When You’re in a Slump

“Recognize negative self-talk, which is really what’s causing your slump.”

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Diary

Find Out What You Really Want

05/21/2010

Have you ever walked to the ocean, when no one else was in sight? The seagulls aren’t even awake yet and all you hear is the roar of waves crashing against the rocks? The sand is still cold because the sun has yet to emerge from the horizon, the sky is still gray. All you hear is that deep, rolling thunderous noise of the tide coming in.

And all you can think is “Woah.”

Because you see, with your own two eyes, just how big the ocean is. That it’s so much larger then you originally thought. Sure, textbooks may have taught you that our Earth is mostly water, but now you’ve seen it.

I definitely had my own, ocean-sized ‘Woah’ moment last night.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Ashli Jade, I’m an on-again-off-again blogger living in the suburbs, which has led to several cases of same-house-syndrome ( Ever walked into one that wasn’t yours?) as well as- in combination with other things going on- mild and moderate depression.

My parents had met in Colorado Springs, Colorado. The second most populous city in the state and you still have to drive an hour to Denver if you want to do something worth your time. They married shortly after I was born, and soon after a separation between the two landed myself, my newborn brother, and my mother in Sacramento, California with a strange old woman who smelled of something she called ‘spinach’ and hung lowercase Ts in every room and made us touch our foreheads, chests, and shoulders before eating ( I would later learn that she was my grandmother).

Eventually, a divorce was issued, which brings us to them now living on opposite sides of the same street and me not remembering a time when they were together. You’d think, after sixteen-seventeen years I would have gotten over the fact that I never really had a family. That I would have found some way to cope after all that time. But the truth is what I didn’t know what a family was, or what I was missing. I had been under the impression that what had happened was what was supposed to happen ( Don’t get me wrong. Both my mom and my dad are amazing people and we love each other very much and so on and so forth.)

The shocking thing was, as I got older and became more associated with other people and their families, and saw what they all had in common that mine didn’t ( ” You eat Thanksgiving dinner together?”), I never really became resentful toward the situation, sometimes upset, but strangely never bitter towards them. And that’s where our story begins.

For as long as I could remember, I’ve had one mission and one mission only: Get a boyfriend. In second grade, all I wanted was a boyfriend, and the same goes throughout the years until about midway through my sophomore year of high school. As I continued getting older, the obsessive goal had become more and more intricate. Suddenly, I didn’t just want a boyfriend, I wanted a high school sweetheart who I would get married to and we could have a healthy relationship and nothing would ever go wrong.

Crazy thing was I never really got one. Of course there had been flings here and there, but I was far too picky. No one that crossed my path lived up to the ridiculous expectation.

But never once did I question why I had wanted it so badly. Yes, all my friends were always in loving relationships, but they all also had horrible piercings and self-done tattoos and I didn’t want any of those.

Last night, something came to the surface. It was never about having a date on Friday night. It was never about just having a boyfriend, that’s not what I wanted. I had wanted my own family. My own family to have holiday dinners. My own family to sit with at church. My own family.

Currently, do I know that I have a family? Yes. Did I have to date someone to find these wonderful people? Absolutely not.

But that it isn’t the point of this.

The point is that sometimes, if not all the time, we need to ask ourselves why. If we don’t, we may spend our lives trying to accomplish something that isn’t worth our time, nor is it what we really want. Because if you don’t ask why, by the time you realize that that what you’re really striving for isn’t what you want, but the feeling associated with it, you will have already wasted to much time and energy you could have put into doing something you love.

Money, fame, significant others, luxury items…They don’t emanate some healing force that magically cures unhappiness or illness. They don’t make you young and full of energy.

Ask yourself why, and keep asking yourself why you want what you want, why you’ do the things you do, and eventually you’ll come to the bottom line find feelings that you’ve been chasing, and you can decide whether or not it’s worth going after. Or if you’re going after it the right way.

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Design Your Life

Who is to blame? One Iranian Claims Immodest Women.

05/13/2010

In a public speech on Friday in Tehran, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi told the faithful that modesty would be the only thing that would save them.

“Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes,” he added.

Seriously? A statement like that might almost be comical if it weren’t so sad. When I read things like this, all of a sudden it’s no surprise where the archetype of woman-as-victim-or-prostitute comes from. I wonder what else this man would blame on women and their promiscuous ways. Tsunamis? Terrorism? The hole in the ozone layer? Women should be more careful about what they wear, or else the world might collapse in on itself with all our sexual power. It’s hard to imagine why men feel so threatened that they adopt this dangerous and nonsensical line of thinking. I wonder what will be required to snap humanity out of this nightmare of diseased thought.

If I had the ability to see the future, I would make this man look at the inevitable point his path leads to. The world is now run by women, many of them descendants of Iranian women who, coincidentally, felt the need to create genetic engineering facilities to alter the male anatomy. Nowadays, men aren’t born with penises – penises are only given to those men who show through consistent effort that their actions are worthy of respect, and who can convince a sacred council that they are honorable enough.

If I were an analyst, I might see this as a textbook case of childhood trauma left untreated, and of delusion left unchecked. I would probably note that this man was showing all the classic signs of projection brought on by fear and a feeling of helplessness, thus creating the fantasy in his head that women have some sort of magical evil powers. I’d probably recommend that he take a nice long break in the state hospital while professionals helped get him back on the right track.

If I were enlightened, I would see this as an opportunity to take an extremely weak and sick soul, and help him down the road to spiritual repair. I would recognize immediately that this man had lost his hold on reality, and lost his tether to the Divine. Such a seriously damaged soul would probably need a jump start, which could be implemented by way of a two-by-four to the forehead, as was the tradition of a particular ancient monk.

If I were Mother Nature, I would make it clear to this man how unacceptable I find his false accusations and unjust shame against my beautiful creatures. My point would come across in the form of a shit storm so intense and powerful, he would have no chance against the tidal waves, hurricane winds, and endless bolts of lightning. After I felt I had stated my case adequately, a torrential rain would come down on him, washing him clean of all this nonsense and leaving him free of his delusions.

If I were a man, it would make me sad and angry to see another man behaving like this. My shame at his words would make me want to think of ways that he could be taught not to humiliate and degrade my sisters, mothers, daughters, and indeed all women everywhere. Maybe binding his feet would be a good way to start, or maybe a chastity belt would be an even better idea, so he could feel the oppression right where it hurts a man most.

If I were an Iranian woman, I’d steer clear of the men in Tehran and be a celibate lesbian instead!

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Design Your Life

Why So Many Women Are Afraid to Self-Promote

04/24/2010

Are you a history buff? No? Me either, but I will never forget Glenn Close in Dangerous liaisons. The scene still stuck in my mind where her life of privilege and power climaxes in ruins- because she dared to what? Manipulate people to suit her purposes, avenge herself (jilted by the man she loved who used her and tossed her aside for a younger version), seek revenge, relish the feeling of power, and revel in her own self centeredness. Gosh, this reminds me of something… what is that… I know-MEN.

Ohhhh, wait a minute, is this male bashing? Some may say so, I believe it is simply one passionate opinion about the pandemic affect of this two thousand year old inequity. What I am trying to say really is that, how come when a woman tries to bend things to suit her needs she’s a thankless whore and when men do it they are…just being men. When women are shrewd in business, arranging people, places and things to most optimally benefit her desired goals they are willful bitches and men, savvy hunters?

Am I saying we women want to adopt such scruples? Hell NO. What I am saying is enough already! And set forth a motion to do away with this reckless thinking and embrace a more lavish approach to achieving, creating and realizing what we all want and need and would like.

We will collectively grow up and subscribe to the more the merrier, there is plenty for everyone and then you wait and see what happens!! Until then lets inquire whether or not we want to continue to subscribe to an antiquated way of promoting our passions, taking care of our selves and achieving our deepest desires; groveling along, manipulating our pretty little way to success, trying to be the good girls and wives that we were taught to be.
So let me offer a few pointers and suggestions, how do I promote myself without feeling shame or frightened of how others will view me or instinctively feeling like I may offend people that I believe I need in order to survive~

First~ Ask yourself who your source is? Go on really. Who or what is the source of flow, money etc in your life. You may not like your answer but you will see it is the source of your angst. A clue is if you believe source is outside of you, or have simply forgotten- there’s the work to be done!

Second~ There is no other! This means we are all one and whatever you see or experience outside your self is simply a projection of your own material and beliefs. Maddening isn’t it. But when you think about it really its empowering and ultimately freeing! And a stellar opportunity to embrace and heal your own beliefs and story about yourself and the world around you! Like men have power women don’t, self promotion is shameful etc. cause if you see it or believe then its true (for you).

Third ~ And last for now , have some fun and stretch yourself. Try celebrating yourself out loud and test some of those theories. Will people really think you’re a shameless self promoter? And if they do, so what? Once a woman told me something I will never forget; “She said to me’ Honey child, half the people you meet aint gonna like you no matter what you do, the other half will. You might as well get over it! So, as Don Miguel Ruiz says, don’t take it personal! Or you stand in it and feel the burn and heal whatever insecurity keeps making you feel this way! I am a big self inquiry fan and find that when I face the daemons they go away. The shadow isn’t so scary when we shed light on what’s really underneath it all!

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Design Your Life

How to Have a Better Tomorrow Night

04/16/2010

There’s just something about being in a relationship that can turn us into crazy people we don’t even recognize. You can be a perfectly sensible, reasonable person who behaves normally, and then all of a sudden this person comes into your life who hypnotizes you somehow with their apparent perfection. Suddenly, past values and morals go out the window in the pursuit of sex, or who knows, maybe even Happily Ever After. Then, after the spell wears off, you’re left wondering which window you threw your values out of, and how you’re going to get them back. If you’re feeling like you need to get yourself together so that in the future you can feel good about yourself and get in a good relationship and enjoy your life… here’s some advice on how to get that fantastic future started right this second.

Dear Maryanne,

My girlfriend and I have a serious relationship together. She thinks I’m cheating on her even though I am not cheating on her. She also has been trying to find ways to track my cell phone or track my text messages. She’s now questioning if I am bi or not. She did all this without talking to me as I found this out. What do I do and why is she doing this? I am not cheating on her, nor am I bi and I have nothing to hide. I love her very much.”

– Robert (30, Lakewood, CO, USA)

Dear Robert,

Clearly there’s something going on here, and I think there are two main possibilities. The most likely one, I think, is that your girlfriend is accusing you of the things that she feels guilty about. Perhaps she’s covering up for the fact that she’s the one who is cheating. Perhaps she’s having an affair with another woman, and that’s where the questions about you being bi are coming from, from her projecting her own behavior.

The other possibility is that she’s just having a huge bout of insecurity. It happens to everyone at one time or another, and sometimes it’s nearly impossible to control. You can help clear things up by sitting down with her and asking her what evidence she has found of you being unfaithful or bisexual. If she doesn’t have any, then you need to set some very clear parameters of personal privacy. Good relationships are based on trust, so of course the cell phone investigations need to stop. If you two are really serious about each other, but she still cannot accept your word and your love as the truth, then at least you know what you’re dealing with, and you can take care of the issue now, while you’re still unmarried with no children!

2 Comments

Diary

Miseducated Scrapbook: Online Art Journaling

04/12/2010

Yikes! I’ve missed you so much lately and getting to be creative in both work and play. This past week was entirely draining but I left it feeling much more enlightened (..and slow ..and tired .. and pregnant).

I have never experienced happiness like this, absolute fulfillment.. Colette opened a new book of endless inspiration and motivation to create the world we want.

Did I tell you she’s kicking now?

So anyway, as of recently I’ve been getting back into keeping my sketch/idea book up to date and I’ve found out that still the craft of art journaling is still so fun and addicting. I decided to share it with you and inspire you to do your own journal, letters or scrapbooks! Big plans for these so if you’re interested in contributing please let me know!

So I’ve written you a little letter..

As for inspiration.. hit up your local thrift store and flip through the vintage magazines. When I feel uninspired I take a break with my magazine collection and then I imagine ways to translate home decor into web design and graphic art. It’s even great for inspiration to just relax and read as I’ve said before. Remember, a 20 minute break can help tremendously!

Until later, stay sweet, inspired and colorful.

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Design Your Life

Feeding the Wolf Inside

03/26/2010

Yesterday started like many another: I woke up. Normally I am grateful I’m on the right side of the ground, count up the hours I slept peacefully, pause to recall and explore my dreams, evaluate any disturbances and inquire into my feeling state. Then I ritually discuss mutual inquiry with my husband.

Except on this morning I skipped the gratitude, climbed over my anxiety, and went straight to how many hours of sleep I had accrued. Deciding I had enough, I detached my cat from my face and half-heartedly asked my husband how he had slept. Looking back, I can see I had fed the wrong wolf—and off I went, spiraling towards the vortex.

I raced to beat the clock; we had to be at the airport by 8am, it was 6:20, and I was standing there in my jammies machinating over whether or not the heavy rain would delay our flight. Thundershowers were expected. While I showered I imagined our plane being tossed into oblivion amidst lightning and thunder, spat into the abyss.

The plane was on time. A good augur, I decided. I stowed my bag overhead, happy there was room. And I went back to stressful thinking. Sit down, other people are getting on, and anyway God’s not going to kill you and David at the same time, it’s not possible that you both have the exact same exit strategy. Some relief came over me. Then I thought, Right, my girlfriend died on a plane and my other girlfriend’s husband, so the odds of me dying on a plane are about…well they’re astronomical. Right? What about terrorists? Does that person look like a terrorist?

I stopped myself. Here’s the deal, sweetie, I gently but firmly say to myself, hoping to interrupt what how now become completely paranoid and insane behavior. Have you noticed, Maryanne, that every time you get on an airplane some part of you searches for any warning that the plane will go down, and it’s never happened?

I liked that. My inner parent is great. Anyway, what are you going to do, never get on a plane? Live your life trying to dodge every Tom, Dick and terrorist attack lookalike? No. God is not some guy in the sky. God is the great Divine and you are not this little body, you are a big, magnificent spirit on a purpose-filled mission ~ when it’s your time, it’s your time. That’s all. I eased back into the seat, comforted by the resounding truth of my words.

I remembered in that moment how far I had come from not even being able to set foot on a plane many years ago, or even leave my house, as I suffered from the worst kind of anxiety disorder. Never having taken medication, I struggled and fought to heal myself and today I sat, still and calm, taking a moment to praise myself for the progress I have made.

I am reminded again of the story about a Shaman who used to gather the children of the village each new moon to tell the story of the dark and white wolf. It is said that the dark and white wolf have battled since the beginning; the dark wolf grows strong when he is fed fear, lies, greed, dishonesty, and the like. The white wolf grows stronger with love, compassion, truth and care. The children would squeal with delight as he would recount their battles, and at the end of the story beg “Tell us who won the fight, grandfather?” to which he would reply. “Whichever one you feed, my child!” Free will is indeed the final answer.

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Design Your Life

Get in Full Sync With Your Love

03/18/2010

Too often to count relationships encounter a trip in the circuit, and things go awry. After the relationship gets a few years under it’s belt, it can be easy to let things fall in a style of communication, that at the moment feels comfortable, but not always for the best of the relationship. Lack of proper communication and lead to partners feeling unheard or often taken for granted, and even overwhelmed.

Last year I gave birth to two wonderful fraternal twin boys, and as you can imagine my life is not quite the same. My husband has been amazing through this transition, however we have been trying to adjust to still having our mojo that made us the self-proclaimed perfect mates for each other. Here are some tips that might help you encounter your relationship from other angles, and be overall more generous and open when talking to your lovebird.

Make your lovebird someone you really trust and confide in. Many of us turn to others such as family, friends, and work friends for support & advice, because they are around us the most during the day. Don’t leave your lovebird in the dark, he or she should know what is going on in your life, and how it is that you truly feel.

Treat your lovebird with the same respect that you do your best friend. Too often we tend to overlook our friends faults, even if they drive us crazy. We know that no matter what we need to be there and not judge them, and be the support system they need. Doesn’t our lovebird deserve the same?

Remember that you and your lovebird are not the same person, and do not always have the same views on everything. Sometimes it’s hard to be the adult and recognize this, however embrace the differences and help your lovebird be the absolute best that they can be. Trying to edit someone to your desire, or quash his or her ideas is doleful affair that helps no one in the end.

When things get heated remember that your lovebird is often acting in what they think is best and are good intentions, trust in them and remain calm and open.

Recognize that when in conflict much our resentments, and defensiveness comes from out own insecurities rather then something that is wrong with our lovebird. Breathe and take a mental step back for a minute think before you speak, before things escalate to a level that no one wants to be in. If a break is need go for a walk and regroup with the best intentions for you both or the situation

After the conflict has occurred come back to them and acknowledge what has occurred. Though apologies aren’t always required, but a moment of kindness and a mutual agreement to move on without resentment is best.

Accept that life is a series of phases and life passes you by much too quickly. The relationship changes like everything else, and although it’s not the butterflies in your tummy and sweaty palms like it was in the early days. You can let it evolve into a fantastic intimate love that young lovers dream of.

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Design Your Life

Sometimes You Just Have to Do What You Want

03/11/2010

You should always spend time doing what makes you happy. Last night, I spent a great deal of time doing something I did not want to do, something that made me ultimately unhappy, and when I woke this morning and thought back on the wasted Saturday night, I was reminded of a point that I always try to aspire to: do what you want to do. Of course, there are situations in which we must attend unpleasant events or participate in less-than-thrilling conversations, but there so many times when we end up committing ourselves to do something we don’t want to do, something we could have easily gotten out of. When this happens to me (as it did last night), I feel anger and resentment not only to the other person/people and situation, but to myself. Afterward, I ask myself, Why didn’t I just say no? Why did I waste time doing something that didn’t bring happiness to my life? I often rationalize that I somehow got suckered into it or I couldn’t get out of it, but this time I am choosing to do something different. After waking and feeling resentment about a wasted Saturday night, I am not going ask why the time was wasted or think about what I could have done with my night. Instead, I am going to prepare myself for the future by taking these steps to make sure that, whenever I can, I am spending my time the way I want to.

1

Just say no. When I come across an invitation or a situation I don’t want to participate in for whatever reason (even if no one else could possibly understand my reasoning), I am going to say no. Of course, this means I will still have to go to work and meetings and do some things I really, really hate doing (like pumping gas and walking down the aisles of a grocery store), but there are also a lot of things I can say no to that I usually don’t. I usually rationalize the event in some way, saying to myself, Oh I haven’t seen this person in so long or I don’t have any other plans set in stone yet. Even if I have nothing better to do, I will still strive to avoid spending my time in ways that don’t feel positive to me.

2

Recognize what things don’t interest me — and don’t do them. Ever. We all have things that we know we don’t like to do. For example, I’m not a big fan of sports games. With the right people and in the right situation they can definitely be fun, but I have spent hours and hours of my life on boyfriend-of-the-moment’s couch watching football or basketball. And I have sat there resentfully, thinking to myself, I could be doing something else right now. I really don’t care at all about this stupid game. What am I doing here? That’s just my example though. I’m sure for other people, there are certain situations they know bring out negativity and resentment in them. My advice? Don’t do them. Yes, if you have a friend or significant other that really wants your support, sometimes you might have to do things you really don’t want to do, but you should seriously consider if participating in an event and feeling annoyed about it is really worth it in the long run. Maybe you can work out a deal with the person or maybe you can find someone who has interests more in line with your own. Either way, settling for a situation never brings about positivity in any relationship.

3

Set aside time to do what you love. Sometimes it’s easy to remember what we love to do, and to find the time to do it. When you experience a situation in which you feel you have wasted time, often the things you would have loved to have been doing jump to the forefront of your mind. For example, last night I thought to myself, I wish I were writing right now. I wish I was finishing up the book I’m so into reading. I wish I could be in bed, turning off the light, about to get a few extra hours of sleep because it’s the weekend. Right there, I thought of three things that I really enjoy doing (yes, sleeping is one of them). That’s one of the few perks about doing something you don’t want to do — you realize all of the things you do want to do. Once you’ve figured out whatever it is really enjoy doing (which, actually, can be very difficult for some people so really take your time with this), you should set aside time to do it. Not general, maybe-this-weekend time, but actually time, such as blocking off an hour or two in your calender. In doing this, you will be more likely to remember and take time to do the things that interest you. In addition, you can easily say, “Oh, i’m sorry! I already have plans!” when an invitation arises that you are really not interested in accepting.

4

Realize that life is short. Cliche as it sounds, life is short. We only have a limited amount of time here in this life and we should make the most of it. We should spend whatever free time we have doing what makes us happy. It’s easy to get sucked into doing what other people want to do or justifying activities and saying that we “have” to do them, but this is unfair not only to us, but to those around us. People will be able to sense that you are not enjoying yourself (or, at least, people can sense when I’m not enjoying myself because I make it very clear). You will be resentful of the people and situations you spend time with and partake in because you felt you “had” to. You will miss out on all of the fun and excitement and joy you could have had doing what you really wanted to be doing. Our lives are short and we should all be living them the way we would like to.

5

Surround yourself with people who support what you want to do. This can be difficult at times, because not everyone wants to do the same thing and it’s pretty near impossible to surround yourself with friends and family members who enjoy the exact same activities that you do. However, you can choose your friends and you can choose friends that enjoy similar activities. You can also choose to surround yourself with people who make not like to do all of the same things you do, but who support the time you want to spend doing those things. Likewise, you can be the kind of person who, though you may not want to participate in a certain activity, fully supports those who do. People who are unsupportive bring negativity into their lives and the lives of those around them, so try to support the preferences of others and most definitely try to surround yourself with people who support you.
Some may read this entry and think, How selfish! We shouldn’t just go around doing what we want to do without thinking about the needs of others! This is true. I am not encouraging complete and utter selfishness, but I am, as always, encouraging positivity. We have this moment, this life, to live however we want to, and I feel like so often we take this for granted. We think that we can get to something later or, in my case, I rationalize things, saying to myself, Oh, I’ll always have time to read. But will I? What I know for sure is that we have this moment, this single moment, to live. No future is guaranteed so whenever possible I believe we should spend time doing whatever makes us happy. Between work and other commitments that we can’t get out of, we actually have very little time to do the things that make us truly happy. Think about what you really love to do — and do it!

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